iPhone

I just downloaded the blogpress app on my iPhone. I'll give it a try. If it works well, I may find myself updating my blog more often. I guess we'll see!




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genius

a true genius. who can be said to be/have been a true genius? who is more of a genius, VanGogh or Einstein? given the close line between madness and genius, can it be said that the two are linked? are all geniuses, to a degree, mad? if so, then is the madness a result of the genius's depth of intellect, or is the intellect a result of the ability to look maddeningly deep into the mind?

why are artists generally the outcasts of their time, yet masters of the future? do they have an insight into the future that the average being lacks, or is it just a coincidence that starving artists only gain fame postmortem?

what allows some people to create and others to appreciate? why are most members of society completely out of the loop? is creation simply a product of the ability to be completely honest with the self?

take music, for example: why can some people understand why Hendrix was so amazing, yet others only like him because it is cool to like him, as if he is baseball card or brand-name? one person might hear one of his songs for the first and only time, and be so moved and touched by it, but not know it to be a popular song, yet other people can own a copy of every Hendrix song ever recorded for the sake of having an extensive collection, but never listen to the songs, and never feel the soul-altering melancholy in each guitar solo?

will every generation listen to and love nirvana? or will they eventually fade out? what truth is there in "smells like teen spirit" that touches whole generations. young children who cant understand the lyrics, have never seen the video, and have no idea what a mullato is, but still feel the frustration and energy of the music?

how can people study art their entire lives, and never make anything worth notice, but others can pick up a paintbrush for the first time and create a masterpiece? does everyone have the potential to create, or is it an innate ability that some select, lucky people are born with, and that some may never realize.

are people born with a talent lucky? is it actually a pain? does art come from pain and profound sadness? can art come from happines without being contrite and forced?

where is the line between technical ability and soul? and how do i cross it?

as promised...

I promised a few examples of my moleskine work from my first notebook, so I will keep my promise. all of the ones posted have already been on my flickr page for quite some time, so check them out, but here are a few for the blog.

thanksgiving

thanksgiving is a brilliant holiday, but i am beginning to get sick of it. what ever happened to sitting around the table and telling each other what you are most thankful for? why is it important to make plans to see each and every family member on that day and to eat with them?

troy and I ate three dinners for thanksgiving. seriously. and that was after I watched the Today Show's special on the caloric intake of the average American on thanksgiving. depressing. here I am, about to get married and have to squeeze into a dress, and i cant even begin a diet because everyone expects everyone else to eat dinner with them.

the dinner is no longer special. now, its about hassle and scheduling, and is just another holiday where family takes a back seat to retail. (and i wont even go into the whole beginning of thanksgiving and how it really is founded on genicide and hate, and the displacement of native americans, and slavery and the very people who spawned the people who spawned wallstreet.)

black friday has slipped out of its post-thanksgiving food-coma stupor and taken over the entire weekend. retail stores have raped familys of the holiday.

instead of sitting around the table and talking, families are rushing through that expensive and hard-earned meal to make it to some retail store before every other person in that particular area.

people lined up at Best Buy in Owings Mills, MD at 6pm. did they even eat dinner? did they say hello to the families that flew into MD to see them for the holiday as they were cramming cranberry sauce into their face and grabbing the car keys on the way out the door? the cops were called to that particular store twice for fighting and threats.

and the worst part is, the retaliers are pulling one big heist over on the trusting shoppers after another.

example: Kohls. Troy and I went to Kohls around 4pm on black friday. the sale was still going on, but I didnt see a single sale. A shirt that was on sale for $15 a month ago was still on the rack, in the same place, only it was marked up to $50 and on sale for $25. so...the person who was not paying attention would say "look, honey, this is a $50 shirt, thats not bad for $25" until said idiot goes into work with the shirt on, sees someone else with it, they talk about where they got it, and said idiot finds out that the $50 shirt was actually a $15 shirt back in October.

and what is this about "only the first 15 people in line get a flat screen tv"? so youre telling me that, with all of the money that retailers make, and of all of the tv's they ship in and sell all year, they can only order 15 of them on the biggest shopping day of the year?


not to mention the two men shot, the pregnant woman knocked down, the 45 year old man who was trampled to death at walmart......

not over diamonds or gold, or a car, or a house, or a life-or-death situation...that poor man, a walmart employee who probably didnt want to work that day because he wanted to spend it with his kids....was trampled to death, stepped on, walked over, tripped over, crushed. CRUSHED TO DEATH BY FAT AMERICAN CONSUMERS over a television. over something that almost every single home in this country has. every single home.

i read somewhere recently that even homes that have no food, clothing, or heat for the winter have a television. a kid can go without food for a week in this country, but they still watch cartoons.

and yet so many people were worried about getting a television that they killed someone over it.


and that brings me to the "that cant happen to me" mentality in this country: I almost gurantee that all of those people who trampled the poor man watched it on the news that night and thought "what animals. killed the poor man. what a shame" not even stopping to consider that they did it, that his blood is on their hands.

at walmart. isnt that a joke? not Saks 5th avenue. not Tiffanys. not a gucci outlet, not nordstroms, not a place with any sort of worth. walmart. the place that owns half of the known world. the place that scouts out small mainstreet towns with the intent to destroy.

walmart...that place that you hate because it is always crowded, the parking lot is a pain in your ass, the employees are the lowest of the lowest class, and so are most of the shoppers. the place you wish you never had to go, and yet you have to because who else has a lightbulb or windsheild wipers, or a pack of napkins, or glad plugins at all hours of the day for inflation-proof prices? that place that has helped destroy the economy, and multiple cultures around the world. the place that preys on good quality product makers by exploiting the lower class.

it was for this place, this hell-hole on earth that a man died.


now isnt that a shame?



it is a shame. this whole thing is a shame, and yet it will never stop. black friday is as much a part of our culture as buying tons of christmas gifts, eating our weight in turkey or mcdonalds hamburgers, shooting each other over a little argument, beating each other with baseball bats at stoplights, jerryspringer, theft, child abuse and neglect, crooked politicians, racism and reverse racism, and inflation. it is an accepted norm, and as long as there is a lower class, it will continue to grow every year, preying on those who cant afford inflated retail prices.

hello, blog

I'll skip the excuses for being a poor blogger and just get right to business....

1. The United States just elected its first black president, and I feel that I should at least say something about it, so bear with me:

I will not say who I voted for or what I believe, in an attempt to avoid random angry comments from people. I will say, however, that for the first time in a long while, I have hope. I am so tired of hearing how horrible our government is, and hearing that things need to change, and I am just happy to finally hear that change is coming. Even bad change is change, and anything that changes has a chance to make something better. I wish The future President all the best, and I hope that he may be numbered among the great in our History.

2. I have a job. after what seems like ages of joblessness and searching and interviewing, I have landed the perfect job as a Graphic Designer. I am so excited to have finally reached the point in life where I will no longer have to wait on tables or hold temporary jobs just to make money for gas. This job comes with an arsenal of fantastic benefits and perks, and I could not be happier.

3. Troy bought me a flickr pro account today. randomly. So that means that I have something to keep me occupied until I start my new job, and I will be scanning in my moleskine paintings. I also no longer have to delete pictures just to add more. so keep an eye out for flickr updates.

4. Troy and I have been re-thinking the marriage thing. I mean, the marriage is still on, its just the Wedding that is up in the air. There is alot to consider, but I think that, once we make the big decisions (venue, food, day) things will be fun, and much more easy. and, FYI, i do not want to hear wedding horror stories. I wont say that mine will be different, because I know it wont, but I refuse to allow fear to run my wedding.

Now, if I could just afford the dress I want. Believe it or not, it is part of the Disney's Princess collection. It is beautiful, but I am afraid of the price tag.

5. We have begun working on our future home. Its a complicated narrative, so I'll save it for a later day.

6. I have finished my first moleskine book. I'm addicted, and I'm glad. The motivation and creative outlet is good for me.

7. Maryland might get its first snow flurries this weekend. Not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm not really ready for it.

8. "If All Goes Wrong" just came out, and of course Troy bought it that day. If you are a Smashing Pumpkins fan, or just a fan of music and the artistic struggle behind good music, you should see the interview with Pete Townshend and the documentary. Genius. BIlly Corgan always has a way of taking my own personal beliefs and putting them into words.

9. The Pour House closed down. The Pour House is a local coffee shop in my town, and, while it was always packed with obnoxious teens and the prices were pretty high, it was still a local business beloved by the community. I spent the better part of my highschool and early college years there, and now I cannot believe it is gone. I have been going less and less in the past few years, but it felt good to know that the place would be there if ever I needed it. NOt to mention, now, that is one less local business. some person's savings and dreams, devoured by the economy. As much as I love starbucks coffee, I would rather see the local starbcks shut its doors, at least starbucks has a chance to come back. a local business, however, cannot just bounce back, it sucks up every resourse the owner has, and then thats it. I try my best to patronize local business as often as possible because they have more integrity and sincerity toward customers than a giant corporate chain. But, alas, the pour house is no more.

10. Gas is currently 1.97 in my home town. How crazy is that? I do not even know what else to say about it. lets just leave it at this: I hope it stays that way.

11. finally, a word about football: HURRAY RAVENS. lets just keep moving forward and I'll be happy.

thats it for now. good day to you, my random reader.

when will it end?

I have been sick since Sunday. Misery. Troy and I went to Skyline Drive, and drove 99.9 miles to get there, drove 53 miles each way along skyline drive, and then 99.9 miles back. The view was beautiful, and totally worth the drive, but, unfortunately, the altitude change meant colder weather on the mountain, and I came down with one hell of a head-cold.

for anyone who may stumble on this blog and not know, Skyline drive is a 150 mi (169 km) road that runs through the Shenandoah national park in Virgina. The road is along the peaks of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and stretches along US rt 81. During autumn, the view is spectacular with the color of changing leaves, and the sky is usually pretty clear during this time of year, so the view stretches out for miles. It is really interesting as you ascend the mountain slowly, to drive into the micro-climate of the top of the mountain. When we went, the valley was in complete sunshine, but the top of the mountain was cloudy and ominous. Beautiful. I think, and I may be confused, that the road has been named one of the most impressive roads in the world because it travels along the peaks of and through a range of mountains. I think I remember seeing it on the History Channel's Modern Marvels.

so that is why I am now sitting, bundled up, at my desk, and periodically sneezing all over my macbook.

being sick always reminds me of being a kid. is that strange? so, in the spirit of being sick, here is one of my favorite childhood poems by Shel Silverstein:



SICK
"I cannot go to school today"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox.
And there's one more - that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
It might be the instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in.
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My toes are cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There's a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is ...
What? What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is .............. Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

ampersand

While sitting in my bedroom and listening to an owl outside, I decided that the world is a giant list with no commas.

I wonder how many times a day the word "and" is uttered by human mouth. Does every language have its own variation of "and" or are there cultures that exist without the concept of the word? Is there a language in which people list one object at a time, giving each object its own sentence?

I went to the store. Frank went to the store. June went to the store with us.

I do not know about other languages, but it occurs to me that without "and" the English language would lack inclusion, and would require much longer sentences.

I went to the store. Frank went to the store with me. So did June.

Frank, June, and I went to the store.

without saying that he, she, and I went to the store, it becomes difficult to explain that the three of us went to the same store at the same time. It is possible, but needlessly difficult.

to me, the ampersand is one of the most beautifully designed characters, nay, objects ever created. so much is expressed in that single symbol, and yet most people have no idea that it has a name, a real function, or a history.

Then again, most people do not know how to speak their native language.

I have studied language in depth, and I must confess that I even have trouble speaking it at times. So many rules that are broken constantly. Of course, I am not a language purist, I understand that language must change and evolve in order to stay alive, and that 20 generations from now my language will be obsolete, but still, it is sad for one to watch such a slaughtering of something so significant as a language.


I wish that I posessesd the power to hear my language from the perspective of a non-listener.

to an American, french sounds distinct from German, which sounds distinct from Japanese, but do those distinctions hold true to other people from other linguistic backgrounds? i.e. to a french person, is German as different from Japanese as it is to me? and what does English sound like to people who do not speak it? is it as classical and beautiful as French sounds to me? or as fluid as spanish? or is it as harsh and abrupt as Russian?

which is the hardest language to learn? which is the easiest? if everyone spoke one language, would everyone get along? would there be nothing to fight over?

I suppose people would still fight.

a world with one language would be a horrid place.

the update and other ramblings

again, I must apologize to myself for not writing more often. such a vicious cycle. but enough self-deprecation, I will attempt to move onto something with a bit more substance.

I posted a blog a few months ago about a friend who was in a terrible accident on his motorcycle and was in a coma. Here is the update: I was sitting at my desk yesterday doing whatever it is that I do at my desk, when my phone rang. I was scared when said friend's name appeared on the ID, afraid that it may be bad news. I certainly did not expect to hear his voice.

apparently, in the time that has elapsed since my last news of him, he has almost fully recovered. he is home from the hospital, progressing well with his physical therapy, and is, so far, mentally sound. The biggest relief was that he sounded like himself. He paused more between words, but for the massive amount of head trauma, I am surprised that he can even talk.

he remembers nothing of the accident, and his only worry is over what caused the crash. he has a sort of guilt complex, and wants to know if it was his fault. my advice was simple: he is better off not knowing. he does not need to feel guilty over it, nor does he need the anger and resentment over knowing that someone else put him through so much.

right now, he is off of all medication, and is only taking blood thinners for a clot that is forming in his leg. he has a few mending bones and ribs, but overall, he is fine, and i am relieved. it felt so good to hear his voice. such a difference from second hand information. it is terrible to think that someone so young and with so much more life to live may have either died or live in a persistent vegetative state.

he is going back to college tomorrow. that shocks me more than anything else. he insists that, while stressful, the mental exercise will help him recover more quickly.


in other news, football is in full swing. (American football, just so there is no confusion. i love soccer, too, but football season means only one thing: football)

I'll keep this brief: i am proud of my team. The ravens have played well so far, in spite of the massive problems that have plagued the team (injuries, two incapacitated quarterbacks, and having a rookie starting QB.) If they continue to play as well as they have been playing, I have no doubt that they will be a major contender for the post season. notice I say "post season." any person saying the actual name of the big game this early in the season is an idiot, and should be ashamed.

Last Saturday night was my high school reunion. five years has gone by rather quickly, and I now feel quite old. I was not popular in high school, mostly owing to the fact that I split my high school years between two schools, and at that age, two years is not long enough to make friends and move out of the "new kid" status. The good news is that this reunion gave me the chance to speak to some people that I never would have spoken to in school. I am always amazed at the changes that a person goes through between the ages of 16 and 25. in high school, everyone believes that they have life figured out, and yet most people have no true concept of self at that age.

in other news, have I mentioned that I broke my toe recently? I feel terrible complaining of pain in my little toe, but it actually hurts. If someone had complained to me about a similar pain a month ago, I would have laughed, but the truth is that this little bone fracture is causing me more pain that I expected. and shoes? forget it! its fine to walk on, but once I step into a shoe, the pain flares up and the swelling begins. it has been almost two weeks, and I hope the pain subsides soon.

I believe that is all of the news I have for now. stay tuned for either a posting of some artwork, or opinionated commentary on the economic status of America, depending on my mood.

as a (comical) side note, the last time I was shopping in New York, I found myself eating fantastic Swiss chocolate truffles from a place near the plaza hotel on 5th ave. I plan to visit New York again within the next month or two, perhaps I will have to treat myself again. Swiss chocolate is not my favorite, but I cannot resist that smooth, flawless texture that only Swiss chocolate has.

chocolate facts

some things i recently found out about chocolate. and we all know I love chocolate!!!

1. It is a known fact that chocolate has caffeine in it. But did you know that you would have to eat more then a dozen chocolate bars to get the same amount of caffeine from a cup of coffee? There are about 5 to 10 mg's of caffeine in one ounce of bitter chocolate, 5 mgs in milk chocolate, and 10mgs in a six-ounce cup of cocoa.

2. Chocolate is actually a valuable energy source. A single chocolate chip can provide enough energy for an adult human to walk 150 ft.

3. Chocolate has great health benefits. It helps with depression, high blood pressure, Tumors and Pre-menstrual syndromes.

4. Chocolate does not cause or aggravate acne, this is a myth.

5. One ounce of baking chocolate or cocoa contains 10% of the daily recommended intake of iron.

6. Chocolate can be deadly for dogs. Chocolate contains an ingredient called "Theobromine" which can be toxic to a dogs central nervous system and cardiac muscles.

7. People spend more than $7 billion dollars a year on chocolate.

8. The per capita consumption of chocolate indicates that each person consumes 12 pounds of chocolate each year.

9. Milk Chocolate is the most preferred type of chocolate, however dark chocolate is especially popular among men.

10. In Alfred Hitchcock's movie "Psycho" chocolate syrup was used to indicate blood in the famous shower scene.


source: http://www.infobarrel.com/10_Facts_about_Chocolate

9. Art, and, subsequently, my molskine project

little known fact about me: I paint. not only do I paint, I do all sorts of art, everything from pixels, vectors, water colors, charcoal, paper cutting, clay, acrylics, sewing, crocheting, and whatever else I can create with.

I am not vain enough to boast about my artwork, and most of it is a form of self-expression, but I have enough of an understanding about things like design and color theory to do pretty well for myself. Not to mention my love of studying art history and the different periods, styles, and masters. Ever since I could remember, I have had a brilliant eye for color. I still think I belong next to a printing press checking colors. I have a great appreciation for the subtleties of color and how pigments mix.

Lately, I have been playing with mixed media and paper cutting. I love to paint news print and create collages and paintings with it. I am forever obsessed with childish colors (not to mention painting childish subjects like my still-life of Mr. Potato Head for a painting class)

But I am just as inconsistent and lazy with my art as I am with writing (and if you read my blog, you understand exactly to what extent I am inconsistent with things that I enjoy doing...i.e. when is the last time I posted a blog?) so the problem exists that I can never make myself sit down and create something. therefore, art as neglect.

my new project is a moleskine notebook. on a whim, I bought a mini watercolor moleskine notebook, and I am trying to fill a page once a day. of course there have been gaps, but, having bought the book on 9/6/08, I have been pretty consistent, painting, sketching, or mod-podging a page almost every day so far. (we'll see how long that lasts). the best part about the book is that I can create small sketches before pulling out a canvas and spending all of my time on one big project. Big projects are daunting, so this allows me to get my ideas onto paper, and not have a mess and lost time.

not to mention, it is 100% portable. grab a brush or two, my watercolors, and the book, and im ready for a long weekend away from my desk.

So I love art, crafts, design, ect.


as a side note, perhaps i shall begin posting my moleskine pages as I finish them. hmmmm...