real world begins....tomorrow

I guess I should blog about this momentous occasion. Tomorrow I begin to enter the "real world." I would argue that I have already entered it, but I guess it is official once i flip my tassel. I will graduate along with 450 other students. I guess it is an accomplishment. I do not feel any sense of accomplishment. I wish graduation was like completing a level of super mario, with the flag pole and the castle and the fireworks. At least, even if it was an easy level that you had to complete just to get to another level, at least it was exciting when you climbed to the top of the random steps because you still had to jump to the flag pole, and it was so awesome if you actually got to the top of the pole and came down with the flag.

to me, graduation is like being so cool that you actually managed, by some flaw in the game, to jump clear over the pole, and got no recognition for it, and then had to jump on the pole from the other side, and only got 200 points for something that was clearly worth a million.

maybe no one else had that experience as a kid. but thats what it feels like.

i guess it comes down to how i have waited so long for graduation, and have always seen it as just another thing to get to, that it isnt exciting. I am not sad to leave UB, i was not terribly attached to any aspect of college life. I dont feel like there is a whole world open to me now, i actually feel that all of my opportunities and possibilities are at a dead end. I am a very good student, but am i good at anything else? will anyone even give me the opportunity to see what I can do?

the best thing i can do is to go to sleep. if i have to walk across a stage in front of a thousand or so people, at least i should do it without looking like the bride of Frankenstein.