first day and beyond

Yesterday was my first day of school. I had a good day, but it was the start of my last semester, and I am nervous.

In spite of being such a good student, inspite of my accomplishments as a student, I have major misgivings about my ability to function outside of the academic world.

I have been a student for as long as I can remember. Like most of my peers, I have never known a world without school. Now, I face having to find and succeed at a job after graduation. Scary.

I watch so many people pick up and move on to the perfect job and I wonder if I can do the same. I have worked so hard for so long to ensure that I can get a job, but I honestly wonder if I ever will.

Employers do not care about my accomplishments as a student. They only want to know if I am qualified for the position. Most employers seem more worried about years of experience in the field than an actual degree. I have no experience.

Times like this I feel the need to override my goals and plans and just jump into Grad school to avoid the struggle of making it in the real world. But that goes against everything I want.

I was looking at Grad School possibilities last night. I am still stuck on Emerson for some reason. They have two parallel programs that look awesome. I love the location. I love the city. I love the idea of going to a school that centers around the arts. I am sick of going to a business and Law school.

But I want things before Grad school. Things like kids and a job and a house and travel experience.

But I also want the security of having a higher degree than most people in the market. I want to know that I can do whatever I want.

I really just hope I can land a great job. Maybe my first one will suck, but I want a job. Without that, I can kiss Grad school goodbye.

This blog has depressed me. I'm gonna go clean something.


As a side note, I think I am going to use my blog for class assignments. That seems like a good excuse to write.

In other news, I am working on a pretty big project. I hope to finish it in time. In time for what, you ask? just in time is all. It has not left the planning stage, but when all is said and done it will be a compilation of those things I love to do most.

So it goes.